-I have beheld the power of cheese. It does not burn very well.
-My wife proudly handed me one of Jordyn's drawings tonight. She asked, "What do you think this is a picture of?" to which I replied, "I am not sure, but it looks infected." Based upon her reaction, I failed to correctly identify the subject of my daughter's artwork.
(It was supposed to be a train - in case you were wondering.)
-Near my sister's house there was a sign in front of a roadside store. It advertised "Apple Cider, Live Crabs, & Mulch." Talk about a lifesaver if you need to pick up those three items, but don't have time to make three stops.
I used to play "Oregon Trail" on the old Apple computer we had at school, but was not very good at it. As a result, I had to watch all my friends and family (I named my family in the game after them) either die of dysentery or drown. Mostly, it was dysentery. Imagine the horror of a young boy when he goes to the library and actually researches dysentery. After that I began naming the members of my family after my mortal enemies in school. Sometimes they made it all the way, but most often they were buried in shallow graves many miles before bloody diarrhea finished me off as well.
